YeAhH!! ItZ mY WoRldZ!!

Empty

Tried to take a picture of love
Didn't think I'd miss him
That much
I wanna fill this new frame
But it's empty Tried to write a letter
In ink
It's been getting better
I think
I got a piece of paper
But it's empty
It's empty
Maybe we're trying
Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts
We're empty And I've even wondered
If we should be getting under
These sheets
We could lie in this bed
But it's empty
It's empty
Maybe we're trying
Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts
We're empty Oh oh
Oh oh
Ooooh
Oh oh
Oh oh
Maybe we're trying
Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts
We're empty We're empty
We're empty

i'm so sick being here!!!

Why can't i live in peace??!!! i jz hate staying here ody!! i'm nt hepy 8 hme,i'm nt hepy 8 school...!! actually i don't like here form 6...i want 2 continue my studie till i get degree..master..pHd..but not at form 6...its my mum who force me enter in form 6..coz she said form 6 oni 1 n half year then i can get my degree..ya,i noe..bt who will face n take those examination???me rite???she oni noe hw 2 say...did she ever enter form 6??never!!!!i'll do 2 degree if i pass..if i  fail???!!! d same thing,i will go bck 2 take my diploma...i will waste my 2 years 8 form 6...how on earth u live in smethng if u're x heppy wif it??!!! u can't rite???!!!!!she ody set dat afta i finish my stpm,she wants me 2 enter UMS....i don't want!!!!!!i have my owm dreams,hopes....she never cares bout my feelings!!! its not only bout her,its bout everythng!!!!!!!!!i'm x hepy 8 kkhi anymore...staying 8 form 6 feels like i'm x qualified in others places...aaarrrgggghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.........................

at school,d 1st day i ody x hepy,so hw on earth i finish my stpm wif a excellent results????!!!!!! i even x have mood 2 studie....i'm x interested anymore d subjects 8 school......plus,wat makes me even hate bout kkhi bcoz of d teachers,students....espicially the 'GUY',4 all dis time i jz keep my feelings when he hurts my feelings..bcoz of him,i've closed my heart..i cannot accept other guy in my life...i really10000 hate him but at d same time i love him so much!!!...besides dat,i hate seeing d person's faces who ruined my relationship wif my bez fren-christine....she made me n chris bcmes enemies...!!!!i jz hate when seeing her face dat oways look innocence...and d reason i hate beeing 8 form 6 bcoz i jz mad,sakit hati wif d stupid gurl!!!! i tot she is gud fren..but i've maked a tirrible mistakes being friend wif her!!! she made my life turns up side down!!! oways condemn me in wat ever i do....!!!! she thinks dat she so special n perfect??!!! even pronounce SIMON n spell MONEY oso don noe??!!!! huh~!!! better she go rot in hell lah!!!!!i jz hate seeing her face dat trippppppp innocemce wen infront of other ppl espicially in front of her bf...deeeeeee!!! watever!!!plus i oso jz can't stand living d same life 4rm d past 2 years!!!!.....i want 2 experience new life,new situation,new frens,new culture...i oso have d same dreams like other ppl.....aishhhhhhh...*sigh*......;-(

wat a life.....

fuuuiiiii......going bck 2 skul lu....gonna resign by d end of dis month ...*sigh*..gonna miss all my frens at living concept n chambers..wat 2 do??i have 2 continue my studies...i'm glad dat i cn work der n noe ikea products...ol d bad n gud memories...i will continue my studie at kkhi(again)...form 6!! i'm coming!!!hehe...

wauuuw...afta hw long i left skul,result jz around d corner....i'm so scared...i jz scared thinking of my results...i dun dare 2 take my result....i jz hope dat i will get a fine result n make my parentz hepy..... i hope dat i will get in matriculation bt i noe its really3 tough....if i didn't get in matrix,i hope i willl get in uitm o wherever dat i cn continue my studies.....i jz want have a heppy life....

finish paper ye!!!!!!!!

finally!!!!!!!! finish paper 2day!!!!!account again dat..gosh.....i'm so hepyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

after a long2 tym doing my revision,studie so hard(aching!!! yalah dat..kunun only dis),finish ody!!!!! ye3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!can sleep late n wake up late ody!!! ye3!!!!!! n cn go 'hangkai' looo.....yuhuuuuuuuu......i jz hope dat i can get a gud resultss..........i noe god will do his job in deciding my results....i hope d examiner will in a gud mood n hepy when marking my paper....i've done my part,nw itz God's turn...hehehe.....

God,plz cope me better in facing my problemzzzz...

i feeling so frustrated rite nw!!! i jz can't stand it anymore..i feel like i want 2 quit 4rm my life oh!!! i jz feel like i'm so tired10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

........................y?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i jz want 4rm her attention ony!!!dat'y only..... i really100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 miss,talk,laugh wif her like we used 2 be laz tym....bt nw??? everything seems 2 be so10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

far away.......  i ody tried my bez 2 keep it stay wif me bt i can't........... i jz want 2 be wif her........ everytym me yg go find her...call her,sms her....bt??? she didn't answer my call o reply my masage....if she dun have kt,i understand...bt when i call her,y she xnt answer my call?? is dat so difficult 2 answer da phone???? everytym i call her,bz only..... bt i only ask her 4 only 5 minutes...dat's it.....x more than dat.... bt if other ppl,she have time 4 dem.....who r me in her heart???!!!!! we've been frenz for ody 4 1/2 years,but it seems dat we didn't noe each other.... i only want her attention 2 me like she do 2 other ppl......is dat hard????!!!arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

......God,plz help me.......i jz can't stand it anymore.... ppl see dat me laughing all datym...bt actually???my heart is broken...totally broken!!!!...i jz act like i didn't go through dis situation...... if she dun want 2 be my fren ody,fine!!!!!! go ahead..... jz tell me lah!!! plzzzzzzz help me god!!!! *sigh*

My feeling is never been dis gud!!

Woww! last week i follow da life teen camp..it is my 1st time following da camp u noe... 4rm da 1st place,i dun really want 2 follow da camp.. da reason i follow dis camp pun bcoz of i want 2 get co-cum marks 4rm tcher...hehe.. if x  dat..sory lah..keke.. n oso got a person dat i hate is following da camp... tmbh i malas want 2 join...so,in my mind..i confused whether 2 go n join dis camp o x..my family n my fwendz ask me 2 jz go n have fun.... when we arrived at da Montfort Youth Kinarut.. my feeling still like 'heh,want da hack i'm doing here??'.. then,u noe?? i met again da ppl dat i hate so much!! da ppl dat hurt my feeling when i joined a adventure course at OBS..Argghhh!!!pynlah i tell u.. da fire in my eyes is getting bigger n bigger... after dat, i met again dat ppl dat i have fight wif...aishh...dat time,my mind is so100000 stress!! i ask god..'y??y da 'ppl' here??y??!!..can kah der jz dun appear in my life again??!!'....ishhkkkk!!!  then,we all go put our staff in our room.. although in 1 room..have many ppl..i'm hepy coz i meet n noe more fwendzzz...hehe.. then,at nite dat... our speakers- Jude n Veron- gave their sharing bout their life... they really2 gud.. we have session dat we have 2 refresh our memory bout our past...oh no!! dis lah part dat i hate so much!! u noe y?? coz i noe,i will cry... n i cried... they talk bout hw parentz treat us,have fight wif ur frendz,in relationship between u n ur boy o gurl,what have u done wrong in ur life... i really2 touch when Jude said all of these things.. i admit i cried when Jude said bout ur relationship between  u n ur dady.. in my ife,i never felt a father's touch.. although i never have a love 4rm my dady.but at least..i didn't be a PLAYER... jump 2 another n another boy...ahmm,oso da person dat have hurt ur feeling..ur frends..in my heart.. wuishhh!! terasa gila!! then,i cried again..i think bout da ppl dat have hurt my feeling although i love dem so much!! n when Jude said about in ur relationship between u n ur boyfrend o gurlfrend... i cried again bcoz i have been loving dis guy(i have mentioned on my last post ago) 4 a long tym ody... da guy keep on hurting my feeling,when he get drunk,emmm..i'll be da person 2 get scolded 4rm his mouth..he oso maki me...'PUKIMA LAH KO!!!"arghh..n when he is in a boring situation,he will look 4 me,but he have a great time wif some1 else...heh,he dumped me n leave me in a very100000 dark place... n lastly bout our attitude...i admit dat i'm a person dat hot temper.. i scold only da ppl if da ppl done a small matter... i ever scolded my mum,my brother,my sister,my bez frend... all these keep on appearing in my mind!!! i felt so sad,guilty*SIGH*... then,i told myself 2 be brave 2 stand up.. then,some1 hold my head n started 2 pray over me...my mind felt so ringan n seems like der's dun have any problemzz in my mind.... then,when i open my eyes,i realised dat my body is already lying in da floor!!!! i quickly get up n sit properly..hehe..i started 2 pray 2 God n ask forgiveness 4rm him... all dat 'ppl' dat have hurt my feeling,all da anger n hatred in my heart has vanished!!! pupp!! jz like dat...i feel so peacefull..... sudenly,a word dat came out 4rm my mouth...'I FORGIVE ALL OF THEM,GOD'..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................

after dat,we have praise n worship 2 god!!! i jz dun care what will ppl said bout me...in my mind,i jz wanna praise 2 God n thankful what have he done 2 me...Amen!!! nw,i changed my life...i changed my attitude....i forgive my father after what have he done 2 my mun n all of my siblings...i forgive my enemies....n lastly,i have started 2 forget da BOY...i realised dat,der's x use if i keep on waiting 4 him.. i realised dat,God ody have plan in my life...i noe,someday..God will meet me wif da rite person in my life... n nw,my mind only focus on my family n my studies...i have 2 struggle so hard in my SPM... i've spend a lot of things dat only make my mind n heart mess up... i thankful 2 God 2 come n change me into a new person... i really2 feel dat,i'm glad i followed da camp n feel da present of God in my life... Amen!!!

I feeling better now...

Aishhh...i feel dat some of burden in my mind n body get out ody... b4 dis,my feeling is full of anger...dis is bcoz some ppl dat so annoying... 1stly,da ppl dat see me in 'different' way...i didn't 'cari psl' wif them pun, treat n see me 'lain2' bah... until dat,1 day..i really2 xnot stand ody da feeling dat i keep 4 hw a long tym...i face 2 face wif da ppl dat keep on hurting my feeling,so bikin panas lah ppl said.. but,i talk 1 by 1 lah...dat's much more better then talk ramai2 coz u will x have chance 2 talk... i talk lah,what i x like n 'x puas ati' about da person... i really dun noe,tiba2 only i jd brani 2 talk 2 da person n da other... i really2 talk what i angry about them...i really can't stand...i almoz cry...but,thank god...my fwendz der bsides me,calm me down... n i didn't cry at all... although x all ppl dat i talk 1 by 1,wif da 'ppl' dat i still ANGRY...i feel better coz at least i brani talk 2 da others... ahmm,about da 'ppl' dat i'm still ANGRY...i still x want 2 talk 2 them coz in my heart,i still feel da pain dat 'they' left in my heart.... dun noe when...only time can heal my 'PAIN'..... 2ndly,'he'....da person dat i mentioned in my last post ago,yupp.... i oso talk 2 him about what i really2 angry,sad n hurt what he had done 2 me... da 'sentences' dat makes me dun have energy 2 do my work... i keep on thinking about da 'sentences' in my mind...i jz can't rid off 4rm my mind... until dat 1 day,i talk 2 'him'... i saidlah what i angry n hurt about 'him'...i cried...in front of 'him'.... after dat,'he' like bingung2 dis...geram me oh!!! ahm...it takes 2 days 4 me 2 4give 'him'...u all must heran kan,y i can 4give 'him' jz in 2 days?? dat bcoz i love 'him'...no matter what happen,i will oways love 'him'.... only time can help me 2 4get 'him'.......

what shud i do??

Arghhhhh!!!y he oways like 2 hurt my feeling??y!!??he oways like dat..if he dun want 2 watch da movie wif me..talk bah!!talk!!susah sangat kah??if he dun want 2 talk wif me at fon,he can sms me what..i ask him many times 2 confirm if he want 2 watch movie,i didn't force him..he can bah go play pool wif his member..i ok only..he sndri yg said 2 me,he want 2 watch da movie..but,when waiting 4 da ppl 2 open da door,he said..'sebenarnyakan sy tia mo bah tengok 2 wayang'...my godness!!!hw cud he said like dat!!!da word dat he said jz so ANNOYING OH!!!!!!!!!itz really hurt my feeling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

y!!??y he said 2 me  last minute!!if he dun want 2 watch da movie.he jz can sms me n tell me what..i will x angry..but,dis??last2 minute,tell me if u all guys,u all x angry kah??i dun give a damn shit if he dun want 2 watch da movie as long he tell me earlier.... y he likes 2 hurt my feeling??!!!can kah 4 only 1 time he jz treat me nice n x say a word dat will hurt my feeling??!!i feel so stupid coz untill nw i still love him...i dunno hw 2 4get him...i hate him but at da same time i still love him...arghh!!!i dunno hw 2 get rid off him 4rm my mind!!shud i continue my feeling 2 him o what??plzzzz...help me..i really2 confused..i dunno what 2 do ody...*SIGH*..............:-(

aiyaaa...

Aiyaaaa....i form 5 ody..spm ody lo....how lah dis..i have 2 struggle hard 2 get a flying colours results..last tym,can lah play2,but x dis year..die oh me if i fail(aiyaa...palis2 jauh2)tcher oso ody lecture us in class,all stress..espicially  our add maths teacher,LIM TONG SENG..oways said 2 us dat..'if u canot stand ody in dis class,go 2 other class'...sometimes i'm so mad at him...arrgghh!!whatever lah..i will show 2 every1 dat i can past my exam!!yes..i will study hard..